People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I’m stupid. Let me tell you something right now – that is just a coincidence. MC

The person that named the eggplant probably isn’t allowed to name things anymore. RL

My friend asked me why scuba divers always fall backwards into the water. I told him if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat. RL

I couldn’t fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder.